Preparing for the Premiere

As you are all undoubtedly aware, the If She Did It premiere is scheduled for tonight.

I comprehend that essentially all of you, my faithful followers, will convene in the theater on Broadway or lined up outside to applaud the accomplishment and welcome the show to Broadway. Others will be watching the simulcast in local movie theaters or through online streams. I can assure you that the viewing experience will not disappoint.

Never before has a production of this complexity and magnitude been attempted. Never before has such a story arrived on Broadway. I stand before you, one of the proudest writers of this century. I am fortunate to have achieved such acclaim in response to my initial foray into the world of the playwrite.

All of these efforts will be on display before you tonight as I appear before you at the commencement of the performance. Everything that I represent will unfold before you. You have been loyal in following me through this latest venture, as always, and you will see all that is Horace Krouch. I have never been more proud.

False Allegations

I acquired knowledge of Ms. Styles’ fabricated allegations earlier today while watching the news on television. I had to peruse my files to even conjure a recollection of her. She is one of thousands of criminals that I have successfully defended. In no way do I deserve to be victimized by such allegations, particularly after winning her case.

I have no comment other than to pose one question to my faithful followers: Who will you choose to believe, a Yale lawyer or a common whore?

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